“Best friends…you fight, I fight. You hurt, I hurt. You cry, I cry. You jump off a bridge, I get in a paddleboat and save your stupid ass!” -Girl From Paris
Who are your “girls”? Your 2am phone call…your cry on the shoulder, eat a gallon of ice cream, drink a few bottles of wine, dance all night, talk for hours– girlfriends? We all have them! Whether it’s one, two, or five… “our girls” are who gets us through the best and the worst of times.
For me, my friends are my family. My kids call many of my best girlfriends “auntie”…it’s just how we do it. I’m blessed to have many girlfriends that I can call upon for advice, act as a sounding board, unload in a venting session, and of course chitty chitty chit chat all night long….and usually over many drinks! When I was going through my divorce, the relationship that broke me into a million pieces, “my girls” were there for me. Even when I dug myself into a hole to just feel the pain and never want to face reality of my days, someone was always there doing the right thing. Sometimes it was letting me cry, other times it was coaxing me out on the town…and other times it was cheesy girl movies and hard alcohol! One of my favorites is with my “ROCK”, my college BFF, Luna. She and I have “Virtual Happy Hour” over the phone because she lives 600 miles away! And the funniest time… when one of my girlfriends sent me home with her Marijuana stash (prescription of course) and said, “Smoke it all girl! I don’t want to see you until next week!” Next week!!!??? She just sent me home with more pot then I had smoked in the last 10 years!
We all have our crew or our BFF, who would fight tooth and nail for you. You know she would be there for you in whatever way she can help. So who do you lean on in the time of need? It’s who I like to call…
-“Your 2am Phone Call”. When I found out that Mark had been cheating on me with an extraordinary amount of women, I lost my shit! Literally ran to the bathroom and threw up. My next move…called Athena! And yes it was close to 2am! Of course she didn’t answer…. she’s a mother of 3 and fast asleep! But she called me 1st thing next morning! I needed her to see the photos I took of Mark’s screenshots…to make sure I wasn’t going crazy!? She even took the kids for a “play date” when I confronted Mark and kicked him out. (Read- “Power Moment” blog) And she has been there ever since.
But sometimes it’s not just about that one person that you call…maybe you have a whole Posse! I’m so blessed to have such a Posse…I actually have a few Posse’s. (giggle giggle….can’t say that word without giggling!!) There are the girls I grew up with- my Down Home Girls. They know me better then anyone and have known me since elementary school–through the braces, crimped hair, 1st loves, marriages, and babies! Then there are my surfer girls–The Delinquent Divas! In Mexico, we surfed, we traveled, and we worked our asses off, and yes… danced on a few bars! Then there are my Margarita Mamas! You know who you are! We met because our “Littles” were placed in the same Kinder Class. I have never been the same since! These are your:
-“I Got Your Back Mama Bears”. It’s so important to surround yourself with strong, powerful women. All different backgrounds and ethnicities and who bring to the table all sorts of different perspectives. I looked around the table one night when we were all hanging out…we have a Web Content Developer, a Mid Wife, a Stay at Home Mom of 3/ex teacher, an Artist, a Pilates Instructor, a Business Entrepenuer, a Writer, an ex High Fashion Buyer, and list goes on and on! But when it comes down to it, one thing I noticed is that the story isn’t all that different. We all would pounce on the first person that threatens one of us and/or our fellow Mama Bear Cubs!
No matter who we are….nothing surprises me anymore. We all are going through something…just our own shit. Some of us have good husbands and no sex life. Others have a great sex life and shitty husband. Some have it all…Or how about this one…open marriage, anyone?! We all travel, work our asses off, volunteer too much, juggle all the activities, do chores, run errands, work out when we can, and yes…just fuckin doing it ALL! But that’s what makes us strong, empowering, don’t mess with me mamas! And if you haven’t found this group yet…just wait.
But it’s not all about you or me, right? This is not a One Way Street! We wouldn’t create these relationships and keep them…if we weren’t these amazing things back to our girlfriends. It’s the:
-“Road Goes Both Ways” situation. You don’t just take, take, take…we give, give, give. That is what we women do for one another. When your car breaks down, who takes your kid to school? Especially as a single mom…who do we depend on? Our community of women! When I moved to my current sweet little town, this is when I finally understood the saying, “It takes a Community”. So freakin’ true! So remember, this time, they may be there for you…but don’t forget when they need you back.
When you have this amazing friendship with women something magical happens. There is something so special with the simplest thing as sitting around a table with a few cocktails and just going around sharing what’s going on in each person’s life. It’s what I like to call…
-“Friendship = Therapy” —These are my favorite nights! I can’t tell you how many times, I have just yearned for my girlfriends, we FINALLY coordinate a date night (which is a miracle in it’s self with kids, husbands, exs, activities, blah blah blah), and we meet for our hen pecking session. We all start with the compliments…”Oh girllll, looking good”….”where did you get those cute boots?” “oh my gawd…what work out are you doing?” Then it goes into one person starting out with what the latest is…husband is annoying me, kids driving me crazy, my ass is too big…while we all look on with comforting looks, tears, raunchy jokes, and questions, lots of questions. Then that leads into someone else’s drama. But here’s the thing…isn’t this what therapy is???? Isn’t this what you pay $200 an hour for? And we just coordinating one night, happy hour cocktails, and some food…we might be out $200 but split 4 ways!!! Not bad!!!
The point is…the times when we are down…the times that things are shitty…look around and see who stands out. Your best girlfriends will always be there no questions asked…just there for you with a big ol’ bottle of something and a box of tissues. The saying is true, “true colors shine during the toughest of times.” So think about who these people are to you. How do we continue to maintain these relationships for years to come? We are so lucky that we can pick our friends and you will never know what life’s circumstances will bring deeper friendships.
For all my “girls”, from my “Down Home Girls” to my college BFF… from my “Delinquent Divas” to my “Margarita Mamas” and in addition, another amazing crew I am forming in my home town now—you ALL are my “Sisters from anotha Mister”— my heart of hearts! You have all given me more than you ever will know. I hope that I return the same to you, whether I have or will in the future. I love you all. I dedicate this blog to you and thank you for letting me stumble along the way, cry in a puddle on the floor, and rise from the ashes again. And for you, my new friends reading this blog…may you have or find your inner circle and “2am phone call”. These girls will forever be in your heart—all ways—every day! LOVES!!!! ♥ ♥ ♥
*Alix Stone
@soulsurvivor_alix_stone
aka: Soul♥Survivor
