Love Again Archives - ♥ Heart on My Sleeve ♥

February 21, 2018February 21, 2018

Different Kinds of Love

Part 1 of a Series: Different Kinds of Love

“I thought of all the different kinds of love in the world. I could think of ten without even trying. The way parents love their kids, the way you love a puppy or chocolate ice cream or home or your favorite book or your sister. Or your uncle. There’s those kinds of love and then there’s the other kind. The falling kind.” – Carol Rifka Brunt

February comes around and as you enter every grocery store, Walgreens, Big Box Store – Bam! There it is right in your face- LOVE– Or at least the “Hallmark Version” of Love. Paper hearts, valentines, ad campaigns for jewelry— it’s everywhere you turn. But what is the true meaning of Love? When you hear this word—what is the first thought that comes to mind? Is it your children? Family? Lover? Your dog? Love can encompass so many relationships. But when we see the hearts, the valentines, the commercials bombarding us come February – most of us think of Luvvvvvvvv! (said in my best Barry White impression). Turn down the lights baby and slide over here. Oh yayyyyyy—- Lovvvve! But how many kinds of love are there? Is there more than one type of love? Can you love more than one person at one time? Can you love two people equally? And all the different loves in your lifetime…love of your friends, family, pets, children and even yourself…where does it all fit into place?

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December 27, 2017December 27, 2017

Dating After Divorce 101: Bringing in the Ex

“Before you get in a relationship you must heal the broken pieces inside of you. We must never make our partners of the future suffer because of the mistakes from our partners of the past.”

– Sylvester McNutt

Def Leppard may have had it all right—

“You’re bringin’ on the heartbreak

Takin’ all the best of me

Oh can’t you see

You got the best of me

Whoa can’t you see

You’re bringin’ on the heartache”

Bringing on the heartache can be inevitable in a relationship that may be coming to an end. But how do we get to this point in the relationship? What brought us here– to this moment in time? Was it something they said? Maybe it was their values, morals, or just a something annoying? How about your own shit you haven’t dealt with past relationships and exes? Or how about your partner’s exes and baggage? This can be detrimental to a relationship – not only brining on the heartache but bringing in the Ex! Now I don’t mean the Ex is still hanging around…I’m talking about when the Ex is gone, not in the picture any more but remaining issues that maybe weren’t dealt with are continuing to be apart of your relationship. Whether it’s you or your partner—Bringing in the Ex needs to be put in the past and dealt with in a healthy way.

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November 21, 2017November 29, 2017

Dating After Divorce 101: The Break Up Game

“I loved you with all my heart. For the first time in my life, loving someone fully with body and soul. But it wasn’t enough.”

-Alix Stone

Break up. Break down. Broken heart. Broken pieces. It’s all like the shattered glass on the floor. Shards of glass you sweep up and when you have finally cleaned up, hoping to have gotten all the pieces— there in the corner – deep in the corner of the room…a glistening piece of glass that splintered off. A reminder that you may still be a little broken, but with each relationship you are learning more about yourself and will sparkle again. It’s what I like to call the “Break up…Again”, your first break up with your first real solid relationship post divorce life. This break up is when you realize that all the work you have been doing on yourself up to this point has been worth it. It won’t be clear right away. You may even bounce back and forth between “Is this the worst decision of my life” to “I’m already out the door”. But the post divorce first break up can be similar to a game of football with time outs, play ball, and replays. Until one day, you are able to really get back on the “You” track of life yet again.

Ok…so you did it…You fell in love…again. You learned to trust, love and be vulnerable…again. But what happens when your love relationship, post divorce, is now one that takes a turn? Maybe the relationship is getting more serious and you need to decide if this is your “forever”? Or maybe they make that decision for you and leave? Whatever the situation, this break up will be like no other in your whole dating life. You are a different person now—stronger, wiser and with different priorities. But…wait, can you trust your mind and heart again? Are you listening to the right one? (Conversations Between Heart and Mind) This moment while you are breaking up can be extremely difficult. The truth is that while we may be different people, we are also older. Maybe you are scared to let go of a relationship that might be comfortable; but is it good enough for the long haul or would you be settling? Let’s face it…we aren’t in our 20’s anymore and finding a great relationship “again” in your 40’s or 50’s is not as easy as it was when we were younger. You have heard the saying, “all the good ones are taken”. So then this weird shift starts to happen. It’s like the Super Bowl game and the playoff champs are your Heart vs Mind. Each ready to play on the field for the opportunity to win big!

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